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Whenever I feel stressed, anxious or depressed I fantasise about ending my life; it makes me feel calm again. It’s almost as if I’m reassuring myself that I don’t have to suffer any of this. It can all end whenever I want it to. Even when I’m driving and listening to my favourite music I think about it. Its not even that my life is.
God left me; He has deserted me. I’ve prayed and prayed but I’m sure God left. God has given me over to a reprobate mind. Now nothing affects me. My heart is hard. I know that the Bible is God’s Word and that Jesus is God’s Son and that He gave He gave the Holy Spirit to dwell in those who believe.